| May 3, 2009 | Covenant of Good Relations Reverend Jane Bramadat |
Meditation # 188
“Come, Come Whoever You Are”
Come, come whoever you are
Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leavings
Ours is no caravan of despair
Come, yet again come.
(Descant : Though I’ve broken my vows a thousand times)
Thinking in silence: Do we welcome everyone here? all the wanderers, all the worshippers? Do we welcome breakers of vows?
Sermon
(with input from Covenant Task Force - Christine Johnston and Jan Thomson
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We are a non-creedal religion. That means we gather together, not because we all agree on which world view is the better one - the one that best explains how the universe works, - but because we make a covenant together as a community as to how we will be together on our religious journey. That is, we covenant, we promise, we agree, on several matters. We agree to listen to each respectfully regarding the various world views among us; we agree to act respectfully towards each other individually and also within the congregational sub groups of which we may be a part. Actually, a covenant is more than a promise, it is acknowledging that we are in relationship with each other, called to be the best we can be and to help each other get there. It is the Covenant of the First Unitarian Church to which I draw your attention this morning. This topic was addressed in September of 2007 along with examining democracy, but it was decided this was the right time to examine it in more detail. In fact, you have in your Order of Service a copy of the present First Unitarian Covenant - I will be referring to it regularly this morning, so keep it easy to find!
But first, let’s look at how our covenant came to be in the first place. This covenant was put together and approved by this congregation in September of 1997 (12 yrs. ago). It was created because there was a deeply felt, anguished need for it. This Covenant is highly thought of in the larger Unitarian Universalist world, in fact we were given an award for it from the Pacific North West District when we were a part of that district. And other congregations have used it as the basis for their covenants.
Some while ago the Board set up a Task Force to examine this Covenant - to look at how it was being applied here at First Unitarian and decide if it needed any tweaking or adjustment. They have been tweaking and adjusting ever since. It is a work in progress.
All I will do this morning is to suggest some areas in the covenant that may still need some work. The first thing is the need to recognise that along with listening to each other and being respectful of each other’s words and actions, we must be willing to forgive each other.....whenever necessary. Earlier I invited you to sing with me the song “Come, Come Whoever You Are”. But you probably didn’t know that in its original form (as written by Rumi) it has an extra line and a bit more - a line that has been omitted in our UU hymnal. In its entirety the poem said:
Come, come, whoever you are.
Wanderer, worshipper, lover of
leaving.
It doesn't matter.
Ours is not a caravan of despair.
Come, even if you have broken your
vows a thousand times
Come, yet again, come, come.
13th Century Sufi mystic Jelalludin Rumi
‘Come, even if you have broken your vow a thousand times’ - that’s a pretty important line to leave out. And it says something about us as Unitarians and Universalists that we would take out that line. It doesn’t say that we are a terrible people, but it does say, I believe, that we are overly sensitive about acknowledging errors or mistakes, in ourselves and in others. And yet forgiveness is something that needs to happen in all congregations. I assume you are like me and make mistakes on a regular basis and thus need to forgive yourself as well as others for the mistakes they have made. Although this song was not of our making, it brought my attention to one area in the Covenant that could use some improvement.
But that is easier said than done.....and the truth is, if we don’t write it down, we don’t have to be reminded about it as much! So, I encourage the Task Force to consider forgiveness becoming part of the Covenant....because we all break our vows, even though we don’t mean to.....and we all need to know that we will still be welcomed back even when we have broken them.
I particularly like the way one of my colleagues describes covenant. He says: “A covenant is a set of enduring but ... deeply held promises made between people. And while the covenant is taken seriously, the promises are often so intense that it is impossible to always live up to them. We will never exactly live up to the covenants into which we enter. So, we will always admit a falling short – and respond by re-covenanting, recommitting to those promises....” (Rev. Thom Belote, Overland Park, Kansas from a July/07 sermon)
But our covenant, our promise, is not only - or even mostly - about forgiveness. It is about relationship. The learning how to be together in all our differences; having the willingness to change, to grow, to listen, to collaborate. And one of our religious ancestors reminds us that, from his observation, life is usually not easy. William Ellery Channing, in the mid-19th Century said:
“Every condition,” he proclaimed, “has hardships, hazards, pains. We try to escape them; we pine for a sheltered lot, for a smooth path, for cheering friends, and unbroken success. But Providence ordains storms, disasters, hostilities, sufferings; and the great question, whether we shall live to any purpose or not . . . depends on nothing so much as on our use of these adverse circumstances.” (found in a sermon of Rev. Melissa Ziemer-Carvill ....”On Not Throwing Anything Away” August 14, 2003)
How do we use adverse circumstances to good advantage in our lives? Are we able to rise above the messy, petty, demeaning and painful times and find the nuggets of wisdom contained therein? Much of the time we do find them....and through a combination of determination, honesty and humour they help to transform us....and if we don’t get in the way, they will often transform others. And just how can we engrave their lessons on our hearts and minds and write them into our covenant? I think this has been started already.
Let us take some time now to examine the Covenant more closely.
First of all, it is divided into many different kinds of relationships. There are sections dealing with one’s self, with the relationship between member and minister, between members and the staff; between individual members and the Board; it sets standards for the conduct between members, and between a member and the community-at-large.
The section dealing with the self sets a high standard towards which it is hoped each person will strive. Perhaps it might have spelled out just what are the necessary skills to communicate clearly and as a different point, encouraged some joy, so that being responsible and fully integrated didn’t sound so dull!
The section of the member to minister is thorough...although I confess to not understanding one of the ‘bullets’ - ‘I take responsibility to address differences of view with the Minister and to deal with them in a personal way first, before taking them directly to the Minister.’ A very good thing to do - it was just hard to imagine what ‘dealing with them in a personal way first’ was...I don’t think it meant talking to one’s self in the mirror, but no practical scenarios came to mind!
The segment dealing with the relationship between members and staff as far as I’m aware is the way it is, for the most part. And that is good - things run so much better when there are good and respectful relations.
I think the relationship of individual members to the Board needs some tweaking. Neither person on the present Task Force is sure why the statement about supporting the church financially is in there. And it is certainly good to see the final comment about each member accepting responsibility for learning how the church operates. Although I am sure for most of us this is a project underway, but probably not yet completed!
The section of the covenant dealing with how members promise to relate to each other is long and not simple. It is, however, sincere and will, I am sure, be worked at diligently even though it may be one of the places where “I’ve broken my vows a thousand times” may occur. And there is the reminder here that there are resources here in the congregation to aid any of us if we need assistance in working through issues between or among members.
Just in case some of you may not know, at present two members of the congregation are willing (and have already acted in this capacity) to provide a compassionate and skilled listening ear (and more than that when required). The two members who have offered their services (and been serving in this capacity for many years) are Pam Harte and Norman Dolan.
The final segment on the relationship between a member and the community-at-large could use some tweaking possibly.
In spite of the number of categories in the Covenant, I found some categories missing - or so it seemed to me. I think there ought to be a category dealing with how the Minister is in relation to members; another dealing with how the Board is expected to relate to members and also the congregation as a whole; and even a section laying out guidelines for how the staff will relate to members. As you have been following me along, you may have some very different ideas, and those ideas need to be given to Jan and Christine as soon as possible. I believe the Fall (November) is the time when the Covenant will be examined in more depth.
This Covenant is such a courageous document and I admire all the work that went into it 12 years ago. But now we need to update it and be sure that we use it, that we find it helpful and supportive in our dealings with all people and situations involved with First Unitarian.
Covenants can be both scary and boring. On the surface that may seem like a contradictory, or oxymoronish statement - but just think about it. A covenant is something that is the ideal -- what is put into a covenantal statement is the best guess at the best way those within a group want to act towards each other. One of those ‘motherhood and apple pie’ sorts of things.... It is so ordinary, or, rather, it is the way things are supposed to be, it is the way you and I are expected to act all the time...and that is both scary and boring. It is something that is impossible to follow all the time, so we are forced to realise we are less than perfect.
Nevertheless, this covenant is very important to us - it is the invisible glue that holds us together. And we hope it will be more visible from now on - Please help us to make sure that everyone - member, friend, visitor - knows about this Covenant (copies always available in the office!) and understands that it is the foundation to our faith in each other and in this religion which gives us both support and challenge. The Covenant’s intentions will remain constant - that it is the heartfelt and mind-focussed desire that all those who wish to take their religious and spiritual journeys at First Unitarian will do so in the clear understanding that to the best of our abilities, our covenant, our promises, will be honoured.
I invite you to end the words this morning by saying together the Covenant excerpt that is on the front page of the pamphlet you hold.
“We the members of the First Unitarian Church of Victoria agree to treat ourselves and each other fairly and respectfully. We are committed to improving the quality of our lives by supporting one another’s self development, spiritual growth and the use of our skills and talents in fulfilling and responsible ways”
May it ever be so.
Closing Words
Take courage friends.
The way is often hard,
the path is never clear,
and the stakes are very high.
Take courage,
For deep down,
there is another truth:
you are not alone.
Wayne B. Arnason (SLT # 698)
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