Ministry

January 3, 2010

Four Stages of Unitarian Universalism Reverend Don Vaughn-Foerster

Two young men were talking.  “Why is it you go steady with one particular girl?” asked one.  ‘Well, because she’s different from other girls, I guess,” replied the other.  “How’s that?” said the first.  “In what way is she different?”  “She’ll go with me,” came the reply.  He went with her, probably, because she was the first one who agreed to go with him.  Sometimes, I think that the basis on which we choose our personal approach to religion is that it’s the first one we come to that will let us in on our own terms.  But if it is not a way that leads us where we really want to go, and is only the easiest way to go about it, we, probably, ought to put forth a bit more effort to find the way that truly fits us. 

Today I want to talk about an aspect of religion we don’t often think about:  the fact that it may be more attractive at first than it proves to be in the end.  This is a phenomenon that occurs because pursuing religion is a process, and, like any process, usually, one thing logically comes after another in its development.  There may be some overlap or some anticipation or delay in the sequence of development – as it often is in the way persons mature from one stage of life to another.  But things do follow in a natural order when the process is not skewed or disrupted. 

Over the years I have come to realize that our liberal religious process is distinguished by four stages that must be completed satisfactorily or, somewhere along the way, many members and their religious societies tend to part company.  These four stages are important because they help us to understand a good bit about what Unitarian Universalist societies are in the first place -- what they do and what value they are to us and we are to them.  Understanding this process is important because it is what makes Unitarian Universalists different from most other religious groups. 

The first stage relates to first year Unitarian Universalists – those who have just recently found this religious approach and the assumptions and baggage they bring with them.  Nowadays there are basically two groups within this category:  the “come-outers” and the “newly-religious”.  The “come-outers”, usually the older in age of the two groups, are those who belonged to other churches, synagogues, temples or other religious groups and found that their involvement there did not provide the meaning and fulfillment they needed.  The “newly-religious” are those who had no significant exposure to organized religion until they found Unitarian Universalism. 

The “come-outers”, of which I am one (because I grew up in and was a member of the Methodist church until my mind got in the way of the blind faith that I felt was being required of me), stumbled around until they found a Unitarian Universalist group.  Then they were ecstatic because, (wonder of wonders!) here was a religion that let them be who they were on their own terms so long as they allowed others to be equally genuine within themselves.  The clinker was that as rational as they may be, they still carried a lot of old emotional baggage and could limp along for years not so much being believers in Unitarian Universalism as being disbelievers in the religion they "came out of."  At times they could be like the bush league rookie pitcher who was in deep trouble when the manager came out to the mound. "Son,” he said, “I think you've had enough."  But," the pitcher replied, "I struck out this guy the last time he was up."  "I know," said the manager, "but this is the same inning."  Some people are so intent on trying to strike out old opponents or old ideas that they forget what inning they are in. 

With the “newly-religious,” it is not a problem of dealing with past frustrations with an organized religion.  Rather, it is figuring out just how trying to be organized with other people on something so personal and profound as being at once true to themselves and to one another can work without compromising themselves.  The problem is how individuals create a community that transcends, yet enhances both their inmost nature and requires reasoned thinking.  Understanding the necessity of structured relationships is not easy, especially after having grown up in a world that has become increasingly fragmented.  We minimize how fragmented things have become with the simple expedient of calling it “diversity.” There are so many people in the world and they seem so different that it becomes difficult to detect common themes on the personal level that really matter.  If, during the first year or so, the “newly-religious” don’t connect with the values and ideals of the Unitarian Universalist group, they are likely to be gone by the second or third year.  That is, they will be gone if they don’t settle for the low common denominator of merely being comfortable around people without reference to the great ideas that can bind people together.  Given the notion that religion at its best (that is, at its most responsible), as the saying goes, is to “comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable” they choose comfort rather than challenge.  

The second stage is a more constructive task.  It inquires into the positive character of Unitarian Universalism itself.  Here the new Unitarian probes the various points of view existing within our liberal religious context -- studying, sorting, and affirming among the many theisms and humanisms, worship and celebrational practices, ethical and social perspectives that this approach to religion contains.  At this stage is the discovery that, as Unitarians, we have our own distinct heritage.  We find that Unitarian Universalists do have a powerful religious history and do have a valid and important place in the religious and cultural scheme of things.  We find that Unitarian Universalism is not just a recent splinter group in religion but is a religious approach at least as old as the first century arguments over Christian theology – even as old as the earlier teachings of the likes of Socrates, Protagoras, Confucius, and Buddha. 

Our task at this second stage is to deepen our commitment to the religion we have discovered and to move beyond being novices to become bona fide initiates.  We delve into the dynamics of how reason, freedom, and toleration fit together and our religious identity as Unitarians becomes more apparent and appropriate to us. 

The third stage widens our field of vision considerably.  Now, come efforts to understand religion itself in a more comprehensive way.  After we have come to terms with where we came from and after we have affirmed and probed what we have come to be, we can (not contrast but) compare Unitarian Universalism with other religious approaches.  We can study those approaches for their own merit.  At this stage we examine religions and philosophies that we may not have encountered or that we may have ignored or minimized.  Acting as teachers in Unitarian religious education programs and participating in special adult study groups, as well as separately pursuing individual study, we look into Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, Paganism, existential and process and positivistic and other kinds of philosophy and theology.  New and different ideas are examined and, perhaps, incorporated into our world views. 

At this stage it even becomes possible more objectively to examine the religion from which we may have come and to see its positive aspects.  We learn that, as it has been said, a major form of charity is giving someone the benefit of the doubt.  One may, then, even be led to say that not only is it okay not to be a United Church of Christer or Methodist or Baptist or whatever but that the United Church of Christers and Methodists and Baptists and “whatevers”, after all, do have something going for them -- for those who want or need it.  With wider knowledge comes healthier humility. 

The fourth stage is where it all comes together – or should.  This is where we have so internalized Unitarian ideas and practices that our task is to implement them.  Here the need is to clarify and strengthen our religion.  Now, we want to do our religion – not just inquire into it, but do it!  We want the religious seed we have planted to grow, to bloom, and to produce fruit.  Some of us want our beliefs to bear ethical fruit, so we become even more activist than we were.  Some of us want to deepen our understanding of religious philosophies, so this becomes our major focus of inquiry.  Some of us want to deepen our sense of mystery and spirituality so we delve into promising rituals and techniques of meditation, worship, and celebration.  All of us want our religion to be a resource and a comfort in the face of life’s tragedies – i.e. the death, suffering, and injustices that inevitably catch us up in their clutches.  In stage four we deepen and expand the beliefs and attitudes that are most natural and persuasive to us.  If we have successfully completed the three earlier stages, we not only have a firm grasp of why we should work for the well-being and equality of all other people but also we have a deeper understanding of our own religion.    

But we find that we cannot fully do stage four unless we have satisfied the basic needs of the three preceding stages, i.e., (1) we must be believers in, and sincere affirmers of, where we are and not just disbelievers in where we come from or too comfortable to examine life seriously; (2) we must identify ourselves as part of the Unitarian Universalist heritage (we are part of it); (3) we must affirm the overall value of religion and be tolerant toward other approaches or else the open character of our own remains in doubt.  We have to do all this before we can be secure enough to practice our own religion fully and liberally! 

Of course, from time to time, I have run into people who want to hit Unitarianism running at full speed without warming up for the race.  Often they would do this by trying to be immediately in the fourth stage without doing the work necessary to understanding what the fourth stage means.  For them it is just too much work to learn where Unitarian Universalism comes from, what its essential characteristics are, and how it functions at its best.  As I have indicated earlier, a frequent result of this approach is that such persons are likely to leave Unitarianism with about the same level of frustration and anger or the same distrust that they had when they found it. 

The value of this arbitrary notion of four stages is that dividing our religious growth into stages helps us sort out where our religious activities are taking us. They remind us that we should not stay locked in anger or frustration nor devoted only to Unitarian Universalism’s sectarian aspects nor should we remain ignorant or arbitrarily condemning of other religious ways nor unassertive in the creative expression of our own.  Each stage has its necessary work to be done and, although these stages may not apply to everyone, they do apply to most of us and are useful guides in the development of our religion.

Also, on the practical level of planning the group’s overall program, these four stages identify program needs.  Most of our societies operate erratically where programming for the religious growth of their members is concerned.  Yet, for a religious community fully to meet its members’ needs, it needs to have something happening for each of these four stages most of the time.  For inquirers and new members, there will be stage one activities delving into the way Unitarianism contrasts with other religious groups and there will be opportunities for open, supportive ventilation of the pains and problems that people have brought with them. In stage two there will be programs exploring the Unitarian heritage and the diverse points of view, both as they exist within Unitarianism and as they relate to the world at large.  For stage three, other religions and philosophies will be, seriously and systematically, delved into through lectures, classes, meditation groups, etc.  For stage four, worship and celebration groups, social action projects, self improvement opportunities, community service activities, and sophisticated theological and philosophical study groups will be provided.  And, as I suggested earlier, in the congregation that meets its member’s needs, much of this will be going on at once.

Furthermore, these activities should be distributed throughout the full range of the group’s organization, utilizing religious education for youth, adult education, member organizations, public events, and the like.  For the congregation as a whole, the place where it all comes together is the Sunday morning service.  But neither the service itself, nor any presentation made within it, can bear the whole load, as many Fellowships and societies try to make them do.  The reality is that Unitarian congregations that fulfill their reason for being are life-time training grounds of the spirit. 

As a final thought, I want to emphasize how necessary it is to our Unitarian Universalism to complete all of these stages and how necessary it is that we help one another!  If we become Unitarian Universalists without intending to grow in these ways – that is, to pursue what is, actually, a religious quest – then we can’t expect to grow much either personally or organizationally.  And, if we don’t expect to grow much we will be joining a community only to be comforted and not to be inspired or to comfort others.  When that happens – and it happens in many Unitarian Universalist congregations – lost is the sense of common resolve and, without common resolve, community itself founders or narrows into a private club.  The point:  unless we come together to grow together, we cannot very well stay together.  But, if we seriously pursue the stages of development that deepen and strengthen our personal liberal religion, we will grow our religion together and we will not only have a religion we came looking for, but we will have a gathering of friends to help us practice and develop that religion. In terms of our children’s story of the morning, instead of pulling our ropes in contradictory directions, we might even move our wagon-load of theological hay into the future.